Cattle Herding Gifts

Western Philosophy

"Fast forward to the part where you herd me."

'Was this supposed to be a cattle dive...or drive?'

New Guy.

"Oh, alright...and 247 fudgecicles..."

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

Western Philosophy

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Sheep Ledger

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

A cow ventriloquist.

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

Spring branding on the Hashtag Ranch.

If only I had noticed the cow in the teleporter, I'd be accepting the Nobel prize now!

Sheep Escalator

Therapy for the cow dependent

'Do you believe how easy it is to find corn on the internet?'

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

Claude

'I told her not to follow me!'

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

The young Shepherd was determined to show the flock who was the boss!

Cowboy Slippers

"Get the flock out of here!"

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

They're Brazillian!

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

The good news is that the 'Cow-Ray' has done minimal damge to the ship, captain!...

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Darlin' Bluebell, now that they've accepted Brokeback Mountain I think our time is comin'...'