Cattle Hand Gifts

'God darn it Tex! I kept telling you if you keep on punching cows one day one is going to punch you back.'

'Do you remember where we parked at?'

'Dang, we're losing a lot of strays.'

"....Don't squat on your spurs in the shower."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

New Guy.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

World of Cow.

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

'You know...that ain't a good sign.'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Ranch Dressing

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

"Fast forward to the part where you herd me."

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

"When I fall in love – It will be.... for heifer..."

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

Zoom Rodeos

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Here comes the pimp.'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'Now, son - let's review. This is a cow! That was a bull!'

Keep the food coming! Three of my four stomachs are still empty

Western Philosophy

“They look like last year’s models.”

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."