Livestock Handler Gifts

“They look like last year’s models.”

Oxy clean.

'I KNOW this is insect repellent and not after-shave lotion.'

When Farmers Tip...

'I think you have me hold the tail just so I won't complain about the fee!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Chase me, chase me cows.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Sick Rancher Humor

Cheesie Rider

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Bad news! We're hamsters!'

Free Range Cows.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!