Catholic Nun Gifts

Night-time halo

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

Non-Fiction / Nun-Fiction

Nun Binning the Devil

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

'If you can't control your temper,sister,you shouldn't be playing this game!'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Gates of heaven

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Airports.

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

Honk if you're holy.

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Nun confronts mugger.

Attila the Nun.

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Virgin MaryExtra Virgin Mary.

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."

"Was she a roaming Catholic?"

"Can you put some sunscreen on my ankles."

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

St Peter at the Pearly Gates to the Pope: No, no, your holiness. It's an honor to meet you.

'Peter, this is Holy Cross School, not Holy Gross!'

"T.G.I.F."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'