Nunnery Gifts

"Maybe we'd stand a better change of rescue if we didn't look so much like penguins."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'The child is very illogical'

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Coping with a strong-willed child

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Night-time halo

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

Rocking Horse

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'