Nunneries Gifts

Nun hammering with a crucifix

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

The Baby Walker

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'The child is very illogical'

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Coping with a strong-willed child

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Rocking Horse

'I'm on my way!'

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.