Nunnery Pillows

"Maybe we'd stand a better change of rescue if we didn't look so much like penguins."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'The child is very illogical'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Coping with a strong-willed child

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

Night-time halo

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

Rocking Horse

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."