Catholic Commentator Gifts

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Sports Radio in Crisis

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

Chess on TV

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

"Actually, we will replace you."

The United States of Amazement

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Please disregard the previous message about the imminent collapse of the global economy'

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.