Cataract Surgeon Gifts

"'Whites whiter, colors vivid and bright'. Is this laundry detergent of cataract surgery?"

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Caricatures $20"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Do you think I'm sixty?

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Hospital Departments

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."