Cataract Surgery Gifts

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Romance

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Ice fisher.

Hacking through ice in order to fish

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"Caricatures $20"

Do you think I'm sixty?

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

For $10 I'll show you how you're ugly.

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'Just another couple of pages.'

Folding Container.

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

Tooth fairy.

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

"Oh no! You, again?"