Cataract Surgery Gifts

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Romance

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Ice fisher.

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Hacking through ice in order to fish

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

"Caricatures $20"

Do you think I'm sixty?

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"Maybe I needed a brain also! I left my heart in San Francisco!"

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

For $10 I'll show you how you're ugly.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

'Just another couple of pages.'

Folding Container.

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

Tooth fairy.

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'