Lasik Surgery Gifts

"After I had my eyes lasered, the people down there stopped looking like ants. Plump, furry and delicious little rodents, yes, but not ants!"

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Facelift Book.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Mirror mirror...

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

'Botox.'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

Tragedy and Remedy.

"I only came in to get my eyes done."

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

"She's had a lot of work done."

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

"What I Had Done Over My Summer Vacation."

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

At the office of Dr. Picasso, Plastic Surgeon

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

"Do you think he'll look like me when he grows up?"

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk