Lasik Surgery Gifts

"After I had my eyes lasered, the people down there stopped looking like ants. Plump, furry and delicious little rodents, yes, but not ants!"

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Facelift Book.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Mirror mirror...

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

'Botox.'

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

Tragedy and Remedy.

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

"I only came in to get my eyes done."

Plastic surgery is a scream.

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

"She's had a lot of work done."

'After having the botox injections in my lips I can handle really hot coffee.'

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

At the office of Dr. Picasso, Plastic Surgeon

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

"Do you think he'll look like me when he grows up?"

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk