Cataract Surgeon Pillows

"'Whites whiter, colors vivid and bright'. Is this laundry detergent of cataract surgery?"

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Love is Blind.

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Caricatures $20"

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."