Cat-obsessed Sibling Pillows

Coo coo clocks make a cats job easier.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Dog wearing a cone

Christmas Pets

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Separation

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"Cat park"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

Cat king.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

'Good dog!'

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'