Cat Communication Expert Gifts

Frequent Visitor

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'Well it's about time! My belly needs scratching.'

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

"I have eight spirits coming through."

"Sit!"

'Sometimes I think they understand every word we're saying.'

"You just had to swipe at that fish."

"How are we supposed to know what's bothering him when we don't speak bark?"

"What I want to eat? That's easy. Anything you don't have."

"Making a documentary about a week in the life of a cat has proved to be less challenging than I anticipated."

"Matsuzaka has an ERA of 3.88, yet Francona’s starting Schilling. Doesn’t that seem counterintuitive to you?"

Animal Translations.

"I am trying to pay attention to you, but your little brother keeps distracting me with a laser pointer."

"Sure I love them...as much as you can love can openers."

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

"He's into binge fetching."

'I think Pookie wants her supper.'

Develop Your Social Skills: Try asking about something someone just said....

"Is oversleeping a real thing?"

'You're right - he's trying to communicate.'

"Wow! With this new device, now I can finally hear what you're thinking!"

"I've just overheard Mistress talking to her lawyer: We're in her will!"

"They say I'm anti social, but that's not true, I like to hang out with you guys. It's just humans I don't like to be around..."

"All in all, the squirrel news is good."

'Amazing, isn't it? It's like she doesn't understand what I'm telling her.'

"When I was your age, I had to trudge 20 feet through thick shag carpet to a scratching post!"

"Thanks for a nice time. I'd ask you in, but the man of the house will just put you out again for the night."

"They let me lie on the couch and let you drink from the toilet. Sounds fair to me."

'Call me that one more time and you can find yourself another doctor!'