Cat Charmer Pillows

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

"Stay sharp, wait for my signal and do not, no matter how tempting, pet that cat on the stomach!"

Prince longed for the good old days when dogs were dogs.

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Cat Reunion

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

You're the olive in my martini

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

Snake Eyes

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

Snake reads the book The Taming Of The Shrew.

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!'

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

"I hate it..."