Cat And Bird Comedy Fan Gifts

'Oh look, John, it's Chirpie who's been firing darts at the cat - and all this time we thought it was the children.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The americanisation of vulture.

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Author does not do tricks."

'Oh Hi!'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

"Projectile hairballing."

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

Pet Entertainers

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'