Feline Comedy Fan Gifts

'Aw, not an intervention! I swear, I'm not hooked on the nip, man!'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Police Feline Unit

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Do you have any catsup?'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"She's all over YouTube."

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Projectile hairballing."

Pet Entertainers

Woman pins up a Lost Cat poster on a telegraph pole, but the cat is hiding from her behind the pole.

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

"Get your polka-dot butt out of my leaves!"

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

Dog traps the postman.

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'