Feline Comedy Lover Gifts

"If you fits, you sits!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"She's all over YouTube."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"Projectile hairballing."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

Great mouser!

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

"The love is unconditional after you agree to the terms and conditions."

'For God's sake Duke...look noble!'

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

Cat Emojis

Kitty Litter

'Overslept? You're a cat. How could you possibly oversleep?'

"He expects us to climbdown first."

"Oops, sorry new guy, I guess I forgot to mention he's not a morning person..."