Casual Smoking Gifts

Smoking Woman

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

The Reaper's Arms

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

Wine at the Bar

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

'I'll be home for dinner pretty soon, dear — I just stopped off to cleanse my palate.'

"I love people-watching."

"Right, let the consumption of alcohol begin."

Getting old...

'We can't go on knocking it back like this - one of us must give it up, won't you!'

Fini. That show was schmaltzy, way too sentimental. I'll never criticize anything that can be described as "cheesy"!