Casual Eating Gifts

"Moist towelette to cleanse your palate?"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Fresh pepper?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

The Bachelor Chef TV Show. First, remove last night's pizza from the fridge. Then eat cold for breakfast. Shoot! 29 minutes left to kill.

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"I've done nothing Instagrammable for months."

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

'What kind of...'

"Guac-A-Mole"

"You need a hobby."

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

Ignorance and Bliss