Casual Drinking Gifts

"A quick pint, Mavis, I'm running on empty!"

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

Wine and Stripes

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Fresh pepper?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

The Reaper's Arms

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

Wine at the Bar

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."