Casual Relationships Pillows

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

"I wasn't asking for all of the best years of her life-just a couple of good nights."

"Did you use a condom?"

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

Valentine man in underpants.

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

Tunnel of like

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

"I'm glad you're not one of those sharks that has to swim all the time."

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

'I'm making pot pie.'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"I think you may need to start seeing me twice a week for a while."

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

"I know what you mean, Mary - after a while all the guys start to sound the same to me, too."

"I wasn't ghosting you I promise!"

"I told you I wouldn't forget our anniversary, darling."

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

"I try to be royal without being regal."

Lovers' Leap/Casual Daters' Escalator

'Oh no, we just met today: He's what you would call my 'catch of the day'...'

Working from Home

"Moist towelette to cleanse your palate?"

"Olympics? It's the first I've heard of the Olympics being on."