Casual Encounter Pillows

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

"This place has the best happy hour."

Speed Dating for Turtles

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

PIG OUR Buffet...All you can eat served in a trough!

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"Who's up for some commercially successful music?"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"Oh don't mind us, we are just having a small get together!"

Valentine man in underpants.

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

'This place looks welcoming enough,Alf!'

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

Pub Quiz

The post-game meal

Pizza Party

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'How's it hangin'?'

"Did you use a condom?"

"I wasn't asking for all of the best years of her life-just a couple of good nights."

"This is Dave, my friend plus."

How are you? Small talk series Good! Good! Well...

"What's your philosophy of life, Vince?"

"You'd be a stronger parent if you got more sleep."