Casual Acquaintance Pillows

"Do you mind if I say something helpful about your personality?"

"This place has the best happy hour."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

PIG OUR Buffet...All you can eat served in a trough!

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

"Oh don't mind us, we are just having a small get together!"

"Who's up for some commercially successful music?"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'This place looks welcoming enough,Alf!'

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

Pub Quiz

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

"Stupid h*." "Dumb b***h."

The post-game meal

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

Pizza Party

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'How's it hangin'?'

"I wasn't asking for all of the best years of her life-just a couple of good nights."

"Did you use a condom?"

'A hangover is better than a man. A hangover is gone by lunchtime.'

How are you? Small talk series Good! Good! Well...

"You'd be a stronger parent if you got more sleep."

I have the booze. Carl has the snacks... Oh, and here comes Kevin with the game.

'He is good in bed in an honorary, lifetime-achievement sort of way.'