Casual Acquaintance Pillows

"Do you mind if I say something helpful about your personality?"

"This place has the best happy hour."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

PIG OUR Buffet...All you can eat served in a trough!

"Who's up for some commercially successful music?"

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

"Oh don't mind us, we are just having a small get together!"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'This place looks welcoming enough,Alf!'

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

Pub Quiz

"Stupid h*." "Dumb b***h."

Pizza Party

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

"I wasn't asking for all of the best years of her life-just a couple of good nights."

"Did you use a condom?"

How are you? Small talk series Good! Good! Well...

"What's your philosophy of life, Vince?"

"You'd be a stronger parent if you got more sleep."

'He is good in bed in an honorary, lifetime-achievement sort of way.'

An action figure, from the gentleman.