Casual Affairs Pillows

"No, being friends with benefits doesn't include health care."

Speed Dating for Turtles

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

Valentine man in underpants.

Fini. That show was schmaltzy, way too sentimental. I'll never criticize anything that can be described as "cheesy"!

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

Tunnel of like

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

"I think you may need to start seeing me twice a week for a while."

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

Private thoughts of a television. I'd love the chance to ad lib just once!

'I'm making pot pie.'

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

I don't know much about Tennis...

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

"I wasn't ghosting you I promise!"

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

'Once again, Stuart was heading the leaderboard at the office golf open'

"I know what you mean, Mary - after a while all the guys start to sound the same to me, too."

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

Lovers' Leap/Casual Daters' Escalator

'Oh no, we just met today: He's what you would call my 'catch of the day'...'

Sleeping With Strange Men

"Moist towelette to cleanse your palate?"