Casual Affairs T-Shirts

"No, being friends with benefits doesn't include health care."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

Valentine man in underpants.

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

Tunnel of like

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

'I'm making pot pie.'

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

"I think you may need to start seeing me twice a week for a while."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

I don't know much about Tennis...

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

'Once again, Stuart was heading the leaderboard at the office golf open'

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

"I wasn't ghosting you I promise!"

"I know what you mean, Mary - after a while all the guys start to sound the same to me, too."

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

Lovers' Leap/Casual Daters' Escalator

"Please excuse Steve...he hates pretentiousness!"

'Oh no, we just met today: He's what you would call my 'catch of the day'...'

Sleeping With Strange Men

"Moist towelette to cleanse your palate?"