Casual Partner Pillows

"This is Dave, my friend plus."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Snail Racing

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'The ball never goes where I hit it.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

Valentine man in underpants.

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Caddy With A Cool Box

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

Tunnel of like

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

'I'm making pot pie.'

"I think you may need to start seeing me twice a week for a while."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"I'm counting that as a stroke for each time you went around."

Welcome to Springdale...'We're number 10, 11, or maybe 12!'

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

"I wasn't ghosting you I promise!"

Retirement

"I know what you mean, Mary - after a while all the guys start to sound the same to me, too."

"I don't think I'm ever going to get a hole in one!"

'I couldn't break 100, so I bought new clubs and took lessons and now I can't break 120!'

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."