Casual Connection Seeker Pillows

"Here's to loneliness and all the casual sex that comes with it."

'At least I don't have his life.'

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

"Just say the word and I'll love you."

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

Sure you can twitter, but can you chirp, warble and trill?

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

Tunnel of like

Unplugged.

"Better than a hunting dog - she sniffs out wifi hotspots."

The Guru has left this location after discovering the secret to happiness is better cell phone reception.

"Well Frank, now I've met you, I think I'll adjust my visibility, click profile, locate visibility options and make myself available for a second date..."

Connecting

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

Online Couples Therapy

After 15 years Mike was released

'That's right, son, 'some things never change'...like your father's underwear.'

"I know what you mean, Mary - after a while all the guys start to sound the same to me, too."

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

"I wasn't ghosting you I promise!"

New Years Resolutions 2021.

A cold day in Hell.

"Links"

Father Tim is enjoying the new normal a bit too much.

'Can I tell you something personal about myself, Linda? Getting too personal makes me uneasy.'

Open Up Your Heart.

"I wasn't asking for all of the best years of her life-just a couple of good nights."

'Oh no, we just met today: He's what you would call my 'catch of the day'...'