Casual Conversations Pillows

"You'd be a stronger parent if you got more sleep."

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'He is good in bed in an honorary, lifetime-achievement sort of way.'

'So have you broken any new year's resolutions yet, Burl?'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Just a little heads up!

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

The Schmoozy Reaper

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

'I drink to bring about change.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

"I hate rhetorical questions. Know what I mean?"

"Round of golf or a round of drinks?"

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"Everyone's so nosy. They act like they want to be left along, but they're always nonchalantly eavesdropping on everyone else....some more nonchalantly than others."

"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."

'This wine speaks for itself.' 'Howdy!'

Pizza Party

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

'In my experience, for good to triumph over evil, it needs a little help from the NEUTRAL.'

"You know why men die earlier than women? Because they can."

"It's probably bad news if she refers to the second date as 'mission creep.' "

Eh what kind of bird seeds do you use?

"What? Did I say something reasonable?"

"And you know why I'm his best friend? We never discuss politics or religion."