Casual Conversations Pillows

"You'd be a stronger parent if you got more sleep."

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'He is good in bed in an honorary, lifetime-achievement sort of way.'

'So have you broken any new year's resolutions yet, Burl?'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

The Schmoozy Reaper

Just a little heads up!

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

'I drink to bring about change.'

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"Round of golf or a round of drinks?"

"Everyone's so nosy. They act like they want to be left along, but they're always nonchalantly eavesdropping on everyone else....some more nonchalantly than others."

"I hate rhetorical questions. Know what I mean?"

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."

'In my experience, for good to triumph over evil, it needs a little help from the NEUTRAL.'

The only two things I never eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner.

"You know why men die earlier than women? Because they can."

"I woke up this morning with a pain in my neck. That her lying there?"

'This wine speaks for itself.' 'Howdy!'

Pizza Party

"It's probably bad news if she refers to the second date as 'mission creep.' "