Casual Gourmet Gifts

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Have a nice Administration!"

'Ramblers association'

'... Say, are you sure we're allowed a lunch break?'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

To do before Saturday...

Too much cilantro

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

The Main Types of Cheese

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Is this still America?'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

Holiday Supplies

Cheese

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'