Casual Gourmet Gifts

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Have a nice Administration!"

Me, I'd pair ketchup with a box of red, but I'd pair mustard with a box of white. Hot dogs.

'Ramblers association'

'... Say, are you sure we're allowed a lunch break?'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Too much cilantro

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

To do before Saturday...

The Main Types of Cheese

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Holiday Supplies

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'Is this still America?'

Cheese

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"