Light-hearted Gourmet Gifts

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Boy baking a cake.

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

Salvador Deli

The vegan hunter

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

The four major food groups.

"The portions here are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'Don't give up hope - Anthony Bourdain is bound to show up sooner or later.'

Young boy shows refined taste in champagne

'We're very on-the-hoof, of the moment kind of people - would it be possible to dine off Styrofoam?'

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

Hospital Food

'The 89's are very forward with meat on the nose and a lingering marrow-bone finish.'

'It means that when you order the cheesecake, the guilt comes free.'

Guru on a mountain top with a take away menu

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

Me, I'd pair ketchup with a box of red, but I'd pair mustard with a box of white. Hot dogs.