Casual Giggler Gifts

'I don't have the heart to tell him we bought the farm and coming to take the signs down.'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Yard Sale

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'It was this big. I swear'

"What are you in for?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Balding gnomes

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

'If Batman can have a batmobile why can't a snowman...'