Castle Sieges Gifts

"Why is humor your only defense mechanism?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Building Sandcastles.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Welcome Ghost.

Clearing the castle's moat.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

Knight walking a dog.

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

Fairytale prince and princess

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"

Beware of the Dragon

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

"One of you go see who's at the door."