Castle Captives Gifts

In basket-case.

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

Medieval headlines.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

Man in a Tuxedo

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"Why can't you bring me a rodent like a normal cat?"

Miniature Golf.

"Must be the life to work in a castle. You get paid by a rich king and you don’t have to go through every shift smelling elephant butt."

Christmas Tree Lights

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'Honey, I just ran into the store. Did you need me to pick anything up while I'm here?'

"Why is humor your only defense mechanism?"

Fish king swimming around his bowl!

Tourism invites money (drawbridge with pound sign).

'That's one of our fortified wines.'

'I'm looking for a kingdom that is a fixer-upper.'

"It's the moat Sire, everyone's just hanging out in it."

Fishbowl Vampire Castle

'Look at that spread. Some fish have it so good.'

"Sorry, Dad, but it's time to consider a retirement kingdom."

Gas, water, and electricity being brought to a house through hoses.

'Well, great, now the Hendersons have TV and aluminum siding, and we're still stuck with this dumb castle.'

"Marilyn Johnson does so like me! She's even got a pet name for me...she calls me a dweeb!"

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'I love your pad!'