Castaway Raconteur Gifts

"Okay, now we just wait for the wind to pick up!"

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Non Thought For The Day.

Desert Island Fantasies

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

"It's from an American company that wants to do some outsourcing!"

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

Best friends without borders.

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Drawing on an island.

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"At last - no Trump."

Castaway on a desert island with one tree finds a hammock.

Message in a Plastic Bottle

'The sun is up. What do you feel like doing today?'

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

Desert Island Books

"Sorry I've called last orders"

'Of coure you're the only girl I've ever kissed,on a desert island,that is.'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"We both knew this day would come, Samantha... I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

'Gosh, who'd have guessed that when I said I'd have my people call your people, they'd come up with something like THIS?'

'Now blow like hell!'

"Mon courrier va se perdre..."

'This is the bit where we are supposed to say something ironic or funny.'

Social butterfly

How Platypuses Are Born

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!