Cartoonery Gifts

At first he thought he had died and gone to heaven.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Occu-Pie Mars

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Skipping Horse

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Can You Spot the Differences?

"We only got six days of funding."

Torturing the English Language

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Claus 2.0

Cariactures

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Trump pardons

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Houston, we have a problem."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.