Cartoon Jokes Gifts

"I have put on a few pounds, but it's mostly water weight."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"Technically, it's a mammal."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

Emergency Phone.

Barbeque Casualty.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

The Goalkeeper

Snowman ice fishing.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

"See? Look what happened to Ook! - I WARNED you about evolution."

Shaved Ice

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

COWMIKAZES

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'