Cart Connoisseur Gifts

A woman runs a crash test dummy in a shopping cart.

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

Late at night, the supermarket gnomes emerge and mess up one wheel on every cart.

Hot Dog Stand

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'...and this one is for shopping carts.'

Golfers lost on the road

'Is it me, or are these trolleys getting bigger?'

Supermarket Traffic

"Don't look left or right!"

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Apothecary. Tell us what ails you. We'll concoct a chemical mix to dissolve in water which will fix you. Every problem has solution!

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."