Card Connoisseur Gifts

The Perfect Holiday Card

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'I think he's bluffing.'

Mother's Day cards

For Today's Dad

"I need a card that says, 'You were right' without saying 'I was wrong'."

'I'm looking for a 'get well' card with just a hint of 'I told you so'.'

'My former husband is remarrying and I'm looking for something in a sympathy card for his new wife.'

Cards

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

Expensive greeting cards.

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

Greetings cards copy writer's block.

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'I hear Joey started out dealing 3 - card Monte on 42nd Street.'

'If the Lord knows each time a sparrow falls to earth, it seems like a Minister of the Gospel could at least remember to mail a few Christmas cards.'

Birthday. Belated Birthday. Miss you. Diplomatic apology.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'How about a game of cards?'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Malcolm Sargent

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

Inaction Figure

Propping up a profits chart.

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."