Card Aficionado Gifts

"Sorry, I just need a Valentines Day Card"

'How about a game of cards?'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Philosopher trading cards.

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

Expensive greeting cards.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"The dollar held its value today against the yen, the euro, the peso, the comic book and the baseball card."

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

'It was so bad you couldn't even use it to play solitaire.'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

Putting it Mildly...

'He was wearing his heart on his sleeve.'

Greetings!

'She's just like her mother. Her first word was the name of our credit card.'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

Valentines for Things

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

"Cheater!"

'First, you have to admit you have a gambling problem!'