Card Aficionado Gifts

"Sorry, I just need a Valentines Day Card"

'How about a game of cards?'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Philosopher trading cards.

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

Expensive greeting cards.

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"The dollar held its value today against the yen, the euro, the peso, the comic book and the baseball card."

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'It was so bad you couldn't even use it to play solitaire.'

Putting it Mildly...

Greetings!

'She's just like her mother. Her first word was the name of our credit card.'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

"Cheater!"

Valentines for Things

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

'First, you have to admit you have a gambling problem!'

Killing time, and vice versa....