Playing Card Aficionado Gifts

"My mom was a Holstein-Friesian, and my dad was the King of Diamonds."

'First, you have to admit you have a gambling problem!'

Playing card king in a litter

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'How about a game of cards?'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Philosopher trading cards.

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Existential Risk

Let the Summer Games Begin!

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"The dollar held its value today against the yen, the euro, the peso, the comic book and the baseball card."

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'It was so bad you couldn't even use it to play solitaire.'

"Who the hell didn't rewind Jumanji 20 years ago?!?"

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

Putting it Mildly...

Greetings!

The Trump Administration Alternative Reality Game

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

"Cheater!"

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

"Holy smokes, he's undefeatable!"

Valentines for Things

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.