Christmas Card Connoisseur Gifts

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

Christmas Hugs

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

Expensive greeting cards.

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

Masky Christmas!

Golfers lost on the road

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

'He was wearing his heart on his sleeve.'

Post early for Christmas 2010.

Hot Dog Stand

Modern Monster

'Can I have a new credit card please - this one's full up!'

Greeting Cards for the Narcissist.

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

What do you have in mind? Something for nothing!

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'

Mother's Day cards

"JUST SIGN THE CARD!!"

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

Greetings cards copy writer's block.

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

Cards for All Occasions. Wedding. Get Well. Grads. Congrats. Friendship. Birthday. One "graduation" and one "condolences" … He's afraid of the real world.

Woman in a card shop sees an 'Out Of Section' - Patience, Of Work, Nowhere, Your Mind.

'Money can't buy everything... that's what credit cards are for!'

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."