Christmas Card Enthusiasts Gifts

'We got a Christmas card from King Sverdglink of Lithuania -- when did HE get Christianized?'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Christmas Hugs

Sunrise and Sunset

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

'I'd like three dozen friendship cards -- this war has gone on long enough.'

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

"It appears that it's a Christmas card from another GOP House member..."

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

Belated Birthday Cards

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

"Can't you read? Our shipment is late."

There's no place like home for the holidays...

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

"Rudolph, call the recruitment department - I asked for 'Elvish helpers!'"

Santa left a six pack and cookies.

"Ugh...I hate tailgators."

Post early for Christmas 2010.

"Your behavior was kind of shady so don't be surprised if you only receive clothes for Christmas."

Aliens collide with Santa.

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'

Greeting Cards for the Narcissist.

"My dad wants me to have all the things he never had, and he never had a pony."

"I'm the ghost of no-Christmas-for-you!"

'Never say, 'but everyday is children's day!' '

'So that's why his nose is always red!'

It's important to stay on grandpa's check list.

'It's a new miracle pill made from 'get well' cards.'

Reflection greeting cards.

'Look, I don't know how you found us but there's nothing in your sack we want in exchange for exclusive rights to the 25th, whoever's 'father' you are!...'