Cart Connoisseur Pillows

A woman runs a crash test dummy in a shopping cart.

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

Late at night, the supermarket gnomes emerge and mess up one wheel on every cart.

Hot Dog Stand

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'...and this one is for shopping carts.'

Golfers lost on the road

'Is it me, or are these trolleys getting bigger?'

Supermarket Traffic

"Don't look left or right!"

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Corporate Greed.

Donald Trump Bulldozing Mexico, Canada, Panama, Bolivia, and Greenland

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'