Career Worrier Gifts

'Of course things change: our fathers were replaced by machines - we'll be replaced with new software.'

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Caged Businessman

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'How long's he been out there?'

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

Still Here

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

"I'm at the point where I find mixed signals reassuring."

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"I refuse to go down with the ship."

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

Energy Bills

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

'So do I get the job or not?'

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

"My take home pay must have gone to someone else's house."

"I'm at that sweet spot in my career...right between 'young and underpaid' and 'old and too expensive.'"

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

"If we are to save the firm from collapse then we need leadership...perhaps we should start by convening a group to have a little think about the colour of the files we'll be using?"