Career Warrior Gifts

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

'Yesterday I had an near-jobless experience!'

"Your job application has one serious problem. Me."

"I see from your CV that you're a woman."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

37 years in the same position.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

Office slaves.

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

National Boss Monument.