Career Warrior Pillows

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

'Yesterday I had an near-jobless experience!'

"Your job application has one serious problem. Me."

"I see from your CV that you're a woman."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

37 years in the same position.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Office slaves.

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Working Late

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'