Corporate Warrior Gifts

"It's come to my attention, Wycliff, that you're actually planning a life outside the office."

"All work and no play makes you a valued employee."

'Look, if this fails we'll still have to do business with them, so try to be subtle about it.'

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

'Henderson, I can see you have a few things to learn about the corporate culture around here!'

"I do have a fallback position, but it involves firearms."

"I see meetings. Lots of meetings."

"Would you please elaborate on 'the something bad happened'?"

"We have two options... boldy tackle the challenges ahead, or hold off and hope an asteroid strikes."

'No matter how toxic the corporate culture gets in his department, Bill can always be counted on to suit up and show up!'

'This project is so important that we can't let anything more important interfere with it.'

"Worked all weekend to finish the report, and all I get is a stupid Pat on the back."

A meeting room with two teams of businessmen in huddles on opposite sides of the room.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'It'll never take place. Have you seen the egos involved?'

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

Responsibility and duties

Office slaves.

"I'm taking you off of the Henderson account and putting you into this steel drum."

'Take this win-lose agreement over to legal and ask them to make it look like a win-win agreement.'

"I still say we're stretched dangerously thing."

"And this is another economic indicator."

'A token of my appreciation for all the late hours you've been putting in. It's a nightlight.'

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

'Interesting. Anyone else like to share a 'glass ceiling horror story'?'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

Squeeze.

Jenkins here has been with the firm the longest,

"Suddenly I'm not sure we're adequately prepared."

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

Need Better Process

"Well, let's just agree to disagree, and have you thrown out of the building.""

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'We don't usually negotiate with agents to fill $25,000 a year positions.'