Old-school Corporate Warriors Gifts

"I miss expense accounts."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

Office slaves.

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

National Boss Monument.

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"What's on my schedule today, Fred?"

Responsibility and duties

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"I think your idea of stress relief is drastic!"

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

"He's plotting losses."

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."