Corporate Warriors Gifts

Calendar; 'Point of no return.'

"My new job involves leadership, what do you think I should do?"

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

"And this is your last check. Please, let me know if you need anything. Except, you know, a job."

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

Jenkins, as you might have heard, asked for a raise.

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

"You can do whatever you want to on your own time, but if we find out about any of it, you're fired."

"After this I'll just need you to remove the watermark from your soul."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

Office slaves.

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

National Boss Monument.

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

"What's on my schedule today, Fred?"